Planning Surrogacy – Know Expectations vs Reality

Are you planning a surrogacy journey? – Know Expectations vs Reality

Gestational surrogacy is a procedure in which a surrogate carries the child for the intended parents until the delivery of the child. Surrogacy is a tedious process and not many can opt for it due to legal or financial restrictions. There are many things that parents already know about surrogacy and some other things that they want to know. Based on the things they know; they expect certain things, which might not turn out the way they wish. But all of these expectations might not turn out to be a reality. There are many expectations vs reality in the surrogacy process. 

So, let us look out for some of the real aspects of gestational surrogacy to spread awareness about surrogacy

• Who can opt for surrogacy?

All would-be parents can opt for surrogacy if they are legally and financially complying with the surrogacy country.

Each surrogacy country has eligibility criteria that parents need to meet before signing the surrogacy agreement.

Just to give an example, in Eastern European Ukraine and Georgia, only married couples are allowed to opt for surrogacy.  That means no single male or gay couple can do surrogacy in Ukraine/Georgia.

However, in the USA, most states do allow surrogacy but only some states like California are friendly to gay surrogacy.

In Latin American countries, Colombia’s surrogacy is secure yet affordable for gay couples.  Surrogacy in Mexico is open again after the supreme court ruling in favor of surrogacy in June 2021.

That is why intended parents need to consult a local lawyer or an experienced surrogacy professional to seek a consultation for their specific case and then choose the surrogacy country which legally facilitates their surrogacy process.

More resources on this topic:

Best surrogacy country for gay couples

Best surrogacy countries for international surrogacy

How does surrogacy cost?

Pros and cons of surrogacy

• What is the eligibility for becoming a surrogate?

Surrogacy, as earlier mentioned, is not an easy procedure for both future parents and surrogate mothers. It requires a whole lot of changes in the lifestyle of the surrogate.

While signing the surrogacy agreement it is important to consult a lawyer before signing it so as to avoid any surrogacy-related conflict in the future.

Both the intended parents and the gestational carrier should know the legal procedure before signing the contract. Here the intended parents need to identify the surrogate and know everything about her so as to ensure a successful pregnancy. Following are the conditions a surrogate need to fulfill to become a surrogate –

1. Age Limit – According to the American Society of Reproductive Medicine you have to be between 21 to 45 years of age. However, some agencies might require the age to be fewer or older
2. No smoking and drinking habits
3. You should have a BMI of less than 30
4. No major complication from previous pregnancies is required
5. You should have no history of postpartum depression
6. You should be raising your own child or children
7. Have at least one successful pregnancy before and have no more than five vaginal births and three deliveries of a cesarean.
8. Be free of treatable STDs for at least 12 months before.
9. Discontinue to use antidepressants or anti-anxiety medicines at least 12 months before the surrogacy
10. Be able to travel as needed for appointments
11. Wait at least 12 months from the last tattoo or piercing before starting surrogacy.

• Is it easy to become a surrogate mother?

A Surrogate is the one who carries the child for the intended parents until the delivery of the child. Hence surrogate is the birth mother of a child.

In surrogacy, the pregnancy takes place not through sexual intercourse but through modern assisted reproductive techniques (ART) like in vitro fertilization (known as IVF cycle) and then blastocyst transfer.

In the case of the surrogate being used, the surrogate has to undergo lots of emotions and changes in her lifestyle. For example –  she should think of the baby first before thinking about herself, she should quit smoking and drinking as it will impact the health of the child, she should maintain an optimum weight, avoid heavy exercise, need to go for regular doctor appointments and moreover suffer from the pain of delivering the child.

So, being a surrogate is definitely not an easy task. But surrogates, as it is said, are the angels to the intended parents. They are the ones who do it for the happiness of the intended parents and love to be pregnant.

• How does a surrogate get pregnant?

The children born via surrogacy are the same except in the way they are conceived and not carried by the biological mother.

In conventional surrogacy, either by the intended parent or an anonymous donor, a surrogate mother is artificially inseminated and brings the baby to term. Thus, the child is genetically associated with both the surrogate mother who provides the egg and the intended father or anonymous donor. This is known as traditional surrogacy.

This is because the biological relationship between the surrogate and the child is often challenged by the facts of the parental rights case or the validity of the surrogacy agreement. Many countries prohibit traditional surrogacy agreements or, if allowed, they prohibit compensation beyond payment.

• The more common and most trusted process is gestational surrogacy, in which the surrogate only carries the baby and has no genetic link with the child. Or we can say, the gestational surrogate is just a carrier of the surrogacy baby.  So, potential surrogates should consider what is the best option for them.

• Does surrogacy go for surrogacy because of money?

Surrogacy is not easy for surrogates. Remember, no amount of money can compensate the surrogate mother for the physical and mental stress she has to go through the surrogacy procedure for almost a year or more. The psychological well-being of the surrogate is expected throughout the process.

The payment for most surrogates comes at the end of the list. In order to be a surrogate, she must fulfill the rigorous skills.

In both her body and lifestyle, she has to make adjustments. In addition, it places strict requirements on a surrogate mother’s lifestyle, activities, and daily routine.

She is responsible for the well-being of another person’s child. The childbirth itself takes nine months of her life, integrating the whole legal and medical system into an operation that lasts for more than a year.

So, surrogate mother compensation is a small token from the parents to say thank you for her time and effort. They’re the altruistic females who appreciate pregnancy and want to see the growth of another family as a whole.

More topic:

All about altruistic surrogacy?

Tips to reduce surrogacy cost

• Surrogacy is not a cheap procedure 

Sometimes the high cost of surrogacy can be really frustrating for the intended family. This is especially true in western countries like the USA. It is an expensive procedure and also allows the surrogate to be paid a high compensation along with a high medical procedural cost.

However, surrogacy countries with affordable surrogacy costs are available. Future parents should opt for legal yet affordable countries with explicit surrogacy laws like Ukraine and Georgia for married couples and Colombia for single male/gay couples.

Conclusion

So, we see there might be a huge gap in Surrogacy – Expectations vs Reality.  As international surrogacy laws are changing overnight.  Sometimes parents do not know all the options which might be secure and affordable as well.  They just read what is not there on the internet and which is not correct all the time. On top of that media coverage is not so encouraging about the surrogacy process.

No amount of written content can replace the years of knowledge of a surrogacy consultant.  He or she can save research time, and surrogacy costs, and offer a more legally secure option, which is otherwise not known to the parents.

So, seek a free consultation now with an experienced and trusted surrogacy consultant.

If you’d like to learn more about IVF, Egg Donation, or surrogacy services globally, check out the rest of our website at  IVF Conceptions. We offer legally secure and affordable surrogacy consulting services for FREE.