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Complete Gay Surrogacy Guide For LGBT Parenting in 2024

by Neelam Chhagani

Surrogacy Options For Gay Parents: A complete gay surrogacy guide

Complete Gay Surrogacy Guide For LGBT Parenting.

 

The desire to nurture and care for a child is natural in all human beings, regardless of their personal life choices like sexual orientation and marital status.  For single male and gay couples, starting a family frequently comes with certain limitations.  But not anymore! With a little help from Assisted Reproductive Technology  (ART) and surrogate mothers, becoming parents is more possible for gay couples than before. Gay surrogacy, in particular, offers a pathway to biological parenthood for same-sex male couples and single gay men. In this guide, we’ll explore the ins and outs of gay surrogacy, from the basics to the legal and emotional considerations.

Parenthood via gestational surrogacy arrangements (especially cross-border surrogacy) is complicated and financially draining, for gay men, it is a bit more challenging as they have limited legally viable options with the staggering surrogacy cost for gay surrogacy.

Nowadays, surrogacy is more common for gay couples than it used to be a few years ago.  The option of gestational surrogacy has made it possible for LGBT couples to have their own family.  The gay surrogacy process is complicated but a thrilling way to build families.  Gay men who wish to have a baby through surrogacy need to consider additional factors like egg donor cost, working with gay-supportive surrogacy professionals, legal parentage, etc.

Additional guide for same-sex surrogacy:

Tips for gay surrogacy that make your surrogacy easy 

Having surrogacy twins with two different fathers

Top 4 cheap surrogacy countries in the world

 

how long does surrogacy process takes

Challenges for gay surrogacy requirements.

Surrogacy has opened up new avenues for LGBTQ+ couples and individuals who dream of starting a family. Gay surrogacy, in particular, offers a pathway to biological parenthood for same-sex male couples and single gay men. But, still, some challenges are out there for gay surrogacy, from the basics to the legal and emotional considerations.

  1. Their surrogacy options are fewer and closer each passing day.   Most market is locked for gay couples’ surrogacy due to ethical reasons and due to the overall closing of surrogacy in third-world countries.  So, they have fewer options to pursue a surrogacy journey.
  2. Egg Donation Requirements- To achieve parenthood, gay couples need an egg donor.   An egg donor can be a friend or family member or an anonymous egg donor.  The bottom line is the baby will be half biologically linked with any one of them.  Read, how to choose an egg donor. 
  3. Not all IVF Clinics offer IVF/Surrogacy Services to LGBT parents. They need to find an IVF Clinic or surrogacy agency that is open to working with gay men.  IVF clinics and surrogacy agencies work closely together and often be able to refer you back and forth to each other.
  4. Finding a surrogate mother for gay couples. Find a surrogate mother who is passionate and open to becoming a gestational carrier for gay men. It might take a little more time for surrogate matching.
  5. Gay surrogacy costs- If you are a couple, decide who will provide the sperm. One partner may produce all the sperm, or a couple may choose to divide the eggs and have half fertilized by each partner. In this case, one embryo from each partner would be implanted into the gestational carrier. Anyone providing sperm will need a physical exam, medical history, and sperm analysis.  So, due to extra medical procedures like fertilization treatments, needed for both parents, the overall gay surrogacy costs can be higher.
  6. Name on Baby Birth Certificate- In most countries the name of the biological father and surrogate mother comes on the baby’s birth certificate. That is why it is a challenge for them to put the names of both parents in the baby’s birth certificate. It is only a few states in the USA (California), which offer legally viable surrogacy options for gay men with both parents’ names on the baby’s birth certificate.
  7. Extra legal contracts or documentation work is needed to get the full parentage of the baby and avoid legal issues.

gay couple surrogacy in colombia

What is Gay Surrogacy And How Does the Gay Surrogacy Process Work?

Gay surrogacy is a process where a surrogate mother carries a child for a same-sex male couple or a single gay man. This method allows them to become biological parents by using their sperm, which is combined with donor eggs to create embryos. These embryos are then transferred to the surrogate’s uterus for gestation.

The Surrogacy Process

Here’s a step-by-step overview of the gay surrogacy journey:

  1. Initial Consultation: Begin by consulting with a reputable fertility clinic or surrogacy agency. They will guide you through the process, legalities, and costs.
  2. Choosing a Surrogate: You can select a surrogate either through an agency or by finding a gestational carrier independently. She will undergo medical and psychological evaluations.
  3. Egg Donation: Donor eggs are fertilized with the intended father’s sperm via in vitro fertilization (IVF). This creates embryos for transfer.
  4. Embryo Transfer: Embryos are transferred to the surrogate’s uterus. This is typically done through IVF, and multiple embryos may be transferred to increase the chances of a successful pregnancy.
  5. Prenatal Care: The surrogate receives comprehensive prenatal care to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Regular check-ups and medical support are essential.
  6. Childbirth: The surrogate carries the baby to term and delivers the child. After birth, the intended parents assume legal parenthood.
  7. Legal Processes: Legal contracts are crucial in defining parental rights and responsibilities. Ensure that you have a skilled attorney to handle the legal aspects.

 

Comprehensive Gay Couples Guide  

Personal consideration for gay parenting via surrogacy

  1. Do you really need a surrogacy route to achieve parenthood? For gay couples, it is evident that they do not have any other option.  However, if you are a heterosexual couples, it is good to consult a fertility specialist to make sure that gestational surrogacy is the only option for you.
  2. Do you have emotional/family support around you to depend upon? Caring for a newborn is one of the demanding jobs, not to forget the first sleepless nights!
  3. Will you be open to telling your child(ren) how they got conceived? Meeting a surrogate mother/egg donor can be on your agenda, whenever it happens. Have you discussed this with your gestational carrier /egg donor?
  4. Many IPs wish to use their eggs, or their friend or family person instead of an anonymous egg donor or traveling egg donors. Do consider this option. If you want to use your known egg donor, make sure to sign an agreement or discuss it in advance about the legal aspects. The egg donor requirements are generally met with the help of egg donor agencies.
  5. Have you fully understood the most likely surrogacy costs?  Ask for a surrogacy cost list with a breakdown of each fee.  What is added fee, if an egg donor is needed? A trusted surrogacy agency will be happy to share all details with nothing to hide.
  6. Consider other unavoidable surrogacy costs like – legal advice, surrogate matching, travel, transport & storage of genetic material, surrogate compensation, surrogate medical expenses, IVF – including embryo transfers, and surrogate health insurance.  Not all of these costs are included in the surrogacy price list.
  7. Sometimes it takes one embryo transfer to be successful, but not always.  So, make sure if the first embryo transfer is not successful, what is an additional procedure needed, and what are the likely costs?  Be prepared to have at least 1-3 attempts. Setting the right expectations helps and makes it less frustrating when things do not go as per your expectations.

Keep 10% of total cost aside, to cover hidden incidental costs like Twins pregnancy, premature delivery, etc.

Always ask for a price list with a clear breakdown of the cost and what all is included and at what stages you need to pay and for what.

limitation of surrogacy in uk

Legal Consideration for Gay Couple Surrogacy

Gay surrogacy’s legal landscape varies widely across countries and states. Some regions are surrogacy-friendly, while others have stringent regulations or outright bans. It’s crucial to understand the legal framework in your area and, if necessary, seek legal advice to protect your rights as intended parents.

  1. Do surrogacy laws in your country allow you to engage in surrogacy at home or abroad?  This is one of the most viable factors to consider while opting for surrogacy.  If your state does not permit same-sex surrogacy, what other option do you have?  If you are looking for cross-order surrogacy or international surrogacy, do an in-depth study about the parent’s rights especially if they are same-sex couples.
  2. Get engaged with other successful parents who already have completed their parenthood journey via surrogacy or the surrogacy agency you wish to use. It is good to consider the first-hand experience of those who already traveled the path you are considering.
  3. For your/your partner’s country of citizenship, is there an established process for granting citizenship to a child born through surrogacy? It does not hurt to contact your country’s embassy; they provide a piece of unbiased information.
  4. Contact a local family lawyer in your country to understand the legal aspects of surrogacy in your country.
  5. If considering overseas surrogacy countries, do you understand the amount of time you will need to be away from home/ work for travel, documentation, infant care, and exit processes?

gay surrogacy cost explained

Medical Consideration for gay surrogacy

  1. Do you consider with your fertility specialists about the success rate of embryo transfer in a surrogate mother with/without an egg donor?
  2. If you need PGD- this facility is available in the IVF Clinic which is an added cost to rule out any genetic disease or to choose the gender of the baby.
  3. Is there any law for the number of embryos that can be transferred in a lady? In case you wish to have twins, how they can maximize this?
  4. Have you understood the potential health risks of twin pregnancies for any children that result?
  5.  What is surrogacy clinics’ consideration when choosing a surrogate mother? It is good to choose someone who has at least one baby of their own and is psychologically prepared to give a baby without any emotional baggage.
  6. Ask for a brief overview of prenatal care for the surrogate. How frequently you will receive an update about her process, scans, necessary marker tests, or pics of her growing belly?
  7. Discuss your surrogate baby delivery options- Which hospital and how much it is going to cost?

Read more about options for gay parents:

How gay dad live after having kids?

Why gay couples are amazing parents?

Gay surrogacy cost explained

Financial Considerations for same-sex surrogacy 

Gay surrogacy can be expensive. Costs may include surrogate compensation, medical expenses, legal fees, and more. It’s vital to budget for these expenses and explore financial options such as surrogacy loans or grants.

Gay Surrogacy Costs (Estimated)

Expense Type  Surrogacy Cost Range
Surrogate Compensation $30,000 – $40,000+
Medical Expenses $60,000 – $100,000+
Legal Fees $5,000 – $10,000+
Agency Fees $15,000 – $30,000+

Surrogacy Agency consideration for LGBT couples surrogacy

Finding a Surrogacy Agency for gay couples is an important part of their surrogacy journey. Choosing a reputable surrogacy agency is a critical step in your gay surrogacy journey. Look for agencies with experience in LGBTQ+ surrogacy and a proven track record of successful matches.

  1. How long your surrogacy agency of interest is in business? It is wise to choose an agency that has at least five years of experience as they already have successful baby birth and exit so already know the level of complication involved and how to handle the unseen tricky situations.
  2. How many cases they have done- especially for your country citizens as it will help you to understand how efficient they are with the baby exit process for your specific situation.
  3. What type of medical/emotional/ psychosocial checks and support is given to surrogate mothers before, during, and after the surrogacy program?
  4. How do they take surrogacy payments and what stages?
  5. If using a gestational carrier from your own country/another country, have you had sufficient discussion to ensure you are ‘on the same page’ in regards to the arrangement and what level of contact she wants during/after the pregnancy?
  6. How smoothly the surrogacy agency and IVF Clinic coordinate with each other as they should work as an integral team.
  7. Do you have 24-hour emergency support? How readily are they available to you?
  8. With their communication pattern, try to understand, if they are gladly assisting and taking time and effort to get back to you.
  9. Are they quick and transparent with communication? Are you feeling connected with them and intuitively feel their genuineness?

The surrogacy process can take 1-2 years, so, you will be having a lot of conversations and become an integral part of each other life.  Develop trust and compassion for each other.

 

Single Parent Surrogacy

Best country for gay surrogacy.

Information on international surrogacy laws organized in a table format:

Country Eligibility for Surrogacy Types of Surrogacy Allowed Legal Protection for Intended Parents Accessibility for Foreigners Advertising for Surrogates
Australia Altruistic surrogacy only No donor or surrogate matching Not applicable Not applicable Not Legal
Canada Altruistic surrogacy only Not applicable Not applicable Altruistic surrogacy allowed Not applicable
Greece Heterosexual couples, single females Not applicable Not applicable Foreign nationals allowed Not applicable
Georgia Heterosexual couples (including foreigners) Compensated surrogacy Well protected Foreigners allowed Not applicable
Ukraine Heterosexual couples (including foreigners) Compensated surrogacy Well protected Foreigners allowed Not applicable
India Indian citizens only Commercial surrogacy allowed Not applicable Not applicable Not applicable
Israel Heterosexual Israeli citizens Altruistic surrogacy only Not applicable Not applicable Not applicable
Kenya Locals and foreigners Compensated surrogacy Not legally protected Not applicable Not applicable
Laos Foreigners only Compensated surrogacy Not legally protected Foreigners allowed Not applicable
Nigeria Heterosexual Nigerian citizens Altruistic and commercial surrogacy Not applicable Not applicable Not applicable
South Africa Heterosexual South African residents Altruistic surrogacy Not applicable Not applicable Not applicable
Thailand Heterosexual Thai couples Altruistic surrogacy only Not applicable Not applicable Not applicable
UK Not applicable Altruistic surrogacy only Not applicable Foreigners cannot access Not legal
USA Gay and heterosexual foreigners All forms of surrogacy Well regulated Foreigners allowed Not applicable

 

Conclusion for gay surrogacy guide

At IVF Conceptions, parenthood is celebrated irrespective of all conventions. With the growing acceptance of single parents and LGBT parents, we have already helped gay couples from different countries embrace parenthood. We can do the same for you! We work with affordable yet secure gay surrogacy countries to offer the best surrogacy plan for same-sex surrogacy.

  • For gay couples, we can advise having surrogacy in the USA in a State where same-sex surrogacy is legally allowed.  This option is good for someone who does not have financial constraints and pays high surrogacy costs in the USA.
  • But if you are looking for a cheap gay surrogacy country with legal protection, we can advise you on surrogacy in Colombia.   Our All-inclusive Guarantee surrogacy baby for gay couples in Colombia is $64,000
  • Gay surrogacy in Laos – In Asia surrogacy is not legally secure due to the surrogacy after ban from most of the countries. In Laos, there are no surrogacy laws, and the absence of laws makes it possible.  The surrogacy cost with IVF, egg donor, and surrogacy is around $60,000

Are you planning to start your surrogacy process?   If you are in same-sex relations or a single parent looking to become a parent, we are here to help you with a complete gay surrogacy guide and support!

Get in touch now to get the most affordable yet trusted surrogacy, worldwide.

 

References:

https://www.reproductivefacts.org/news-and-publications/patient-fact-sheets-and-booklets/documents/fact-sheets-and-info-booklets/donor-egg-ivf/

https://www.familyequality.org/resources/surrogacy-guide/

https://www.hrc.org/resources/lgbtq-parenting-laws-surrogacy-laws-by-state

Neelam Chhagani, MA (Counselling Psychology), PGD (Mental Health), and Holistic Infertility and Third-Party Reproduction Consultant. Member of European Fertility Society, Best Surrogacy Blogger of 2020, with 200 dedicated blogs and top contributor on Quora for Surrogacy. Highly esteemed, authoritative, and trusted professional with a 13-year experience in international surrogacy. Advocate for Secure, Legal, and Affordable International Surrogacy. Learn more: https://www.ivfconceptions.com/neelam-chhagani-surrogacy-consultant/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/neelam-chhagani-92892229/ https://www.quora.com/profile/Neelam-Chhagani

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